This is Random Older Thing number 32 of 62. You are Random Reader 200.We've also argued about:
The Germans are waging an undeclared war on sex. That Margret has been caught up in this isn't her fault - she's been indoctrinated since birth - but with such an issue at stake I have to put aside personal feelings for the greater good. When Margret, as she repeatedly is, is given to proselytize 'Red and black aren't sexy colours, that's simply brainwashing - brown is just as sexy.' then it is my duty to save her from herself. Take a trip to Germany and you'll soon see the world that will result from inaction; libido ostracised and crushed by millions of young women in desire-repelling dungarees. Can you find a German woman wearing heels? The very idea is practically blasphemous, but they've gone way beyond that in their fanaticism. Not content with sensible shoes, they've pushed on into the adoption of Birkenstock - a piece of footwear developed by scientists to be used in conjunction with cropped, bother-free hair as an anti-sexual weapons system. If ensuring the survival of desire for future generations means having a row in ASDA, then I mustn't shy away from it. Especially if, say, I'm holding up a pair of black suspenders saying 'Shall I buy you these? Eh? Shall I? I'll buy these for you. I'll buy these. Shall I buy these for you?' and Margret is unmoved and preoccupied until, her face suddenly ebullient and glowing, she says 'You can buy me that.' and points over my shoulder to what, turning, I discover is A CARDIGAN. Yes, cue the Jaws music.