Welcome to Mil's Guestbook Archive for guests six thousand four hundred to six thousand four hundred and ninety-nine, located for your convenience and travelling comfort in a snuggery.
Guestbook Archives
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Guest 6,499 signed in on Monday, June 22nd at 5:58am
Name Auguste Archer
Led here by Magic
Location Jacksonville, FL
Comments Excellent, simply excellent. I would say 'mad props' or something else symbolically American, so as to label myself effectively as such, but I've decided instead to just go with the following:

I've enjoyed this very nearly as much as my girlfriend enjoys intentionally inciting me.

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Guest 6,498 signed in on Monday, June 8th at 9:34pm
Name Petra
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Comments I just spent 2 hours reading this gem of a page and had countless other things to do, yet I don't feel I've wasted any time. That sir, may be your gift. My belly hurts from laughing, and I wonder if my love for plants covering every surface is the german in me like my mother always said...I loved this and I'm buying your books! So there.

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Guest 6,497 signed in on Thursday, May 28th at 2:54pm
Name Sam
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location London
Comments Absolutely fantastic, have been laughing out loud at my desk for the last few days reading this (and shock horror I am a 19 year old female!!). The comments from the people (americans) telling you to "quit whining and dump the bitch" make it that little bit more brilliant and make me feel ever so superior :D will be going to buy your books tomorrow

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Guest 6,496 signed in on Wednesday, May 27th at 3:06am
Name Ethan Timm
Led here by Search engine
Location northern illinois
Comments amazing read, alllll of it. best of luck with more books and the such mate.

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Guest 6,495 signed in on Wednesday, May 27th at 2:47am
Name Michelle
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location Westmoreland, NY, USA
Comments Mil, I loved your page and will be buying your books. Your style of writing is witty and quick. The fact that I kept the page open for a few days while reading it bit by bit says that it kept me very interested, and I was sad when I got to the bottom. You two seem to have a really good working relationship, and at least you know that years from now when attraction no longer plays a roll in why you are still together, you will always have the wit to play off of each other, and life won't be boring!

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Guest 6,494 signed in on Saturday, May 23rd at 9:15pm
Name Alexandra
Led here by Web page
Comments God damnit could you complain any more? Clearly she is a regular bitch (these are the sort of women you should have been spending all your efforts avoiding when you were dating, and dumping when you noticed the psycho in her) and you are a dry english guy who gets very annoyed by the tiniest of things she does (don't get me wrong she does a bunch of really crazy shit too, but its not normal for you to be tearing your hair out about her hanging stuff "from every defenceless lamp shade" etc etc) jeez

quit bitchin, take it or leave it, will the hassle of getting rid of her not make up for the incessant bitching the next thirty years? or do you just love her so much that you can handle her (crazy) faults, if that is so then shut up and quit whining!

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Guest 6,493 signed in on Wednesday, May 20th at 7:42pm
Name Bryant Trinidad
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Colorado, USA
Comments You have now, good sir, enticed me to spend what little money I have on your books. Granted I would of spent the money on books anyway, but who knows It could have been something useful, like woodworking or reading "what they want you to think is Spanish but if you speak to a real Spaniard the will laugh at you until they cry for mispronouncing bathroom into something incredibly stupid", or even fiction.

On another note I should mention that if you ever somehow find your way out to Colorado and then through some hilarious action find yourself in the back of my ambulance please tell Margret that you drive on the left side of the rode and the vehicles with the flashing lights are not in fact "targets you get points for hitting"(this actually happened, the police thought it brilliant, my tailbone however did not), On the bright side I'm sure her driving won't be to far off from how the majority of people drive here so in that sense if you do ever find yourself out this way maybe you should stay away from roads altogether.

also even though I have read your FAQ, as an American I find it helpful to occasionally fulfill stereotypes(the ones with the obligatory firing of guns are my personal favorites) however as I cannot shoot into the air shouting yehaw through the Internets I'll instead ask "Are you and Margret married?", "Why don't you and Margret get married?". And another for the road "Why don't you just kick the bitch out (that's what I'd have done, on day one)?"

Cheers!

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Guest 6,492 signed in on Friday, May 15th at 7:44pm
Name Marina
Led here by Web page
Location South Germany
Comments Hi Mil,... In the meantime Ive read the second of your books: "Love and other..." and I loved it as much as the other one. Thank you so much for the laughs. May I invite you to a genuine Swabian dish ?...such as Linsen and Spätzle ? :)

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Guest 6,491 signed in on Friday, May 15th at 12:11am
Name K RIGG
Led here by Search engine
Location Florida (The one in USA)
Comments Great Site! The wife and can’t stop laughing/ Arguing- Thanks. I used Stumble to get to your site.

I'm trying to think of something stupid to say/do to maintain your high opinion of us Americans. Ummm... let's see... Soccer Sucks!?- Although we DID pay a Spice Girl's husband $20mil -or pounds? to play soccer for us/ English Food is Horrible(using Vinegar for a condiment? can you NOT buy Ketchup!) Set up a PayPal site for Donations for your next legal battle-I’m in for $5-or pounds?!
Sorry that’s all I got on short notice. It’s the least I can do! Seriously- the least.
KR

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Guest 6,490 signed in on Monday, May 11th at 9:08pm
Name Loraine
Led here by Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location Pretoria- next to Maartin
Comments I am in the process of single-handedly converting the upper 10f Pretoria to your books, hitting people over the head with them and reading it to them when all else fails. But I brought Maartin over, so I must be doing something right, no? Please write words like "aluminium" and "niche" into more of your books if at all possible, because I believe it will be great fun listening to the actors try to pronounce them on the inevitable American TV-show adaptations- which is, as we know, the ultimate stamp of approval for any piece of self-respecting British writing.

Thank you for the belly-laughs, the incredible word-play that makes me giggle for the genius of a sentence, and Elizabeth.

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Guest 6,489 signed in on Thursday, April 30th at 12:56am
Name Richard
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location England
Comments Mil, what can I say? Your ramblings just gathered up numerous hours of my life which I suspect (except under extreme circumstances) I shall never be reimbursed, nor do i ever suspect I should wish for them to be. Arguably the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

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Guest 6,488 signed in on Wednesday, April 29th at 3:10pm
Name Sophie
Led here by Magic
Location Turkey
Comments This is the funiest thing I have read since I discovered a stack of porn under my brother's mattress (I was 6, hence the mirth). I haven't typed a word of work since. I stayed up till 3 a.m. last night (the baby didn't sleep till 1 a.m., probably due to my explosive snorts of remniscient laughter). I have mailed the link to all my depressed loved ones. I have re-read the page and laughed again in all the same places, plus more besides. Margret is my new role model.

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Guest 6,487 signed in on Tuesday, April 28th at 10:01pm
Name Andy
Led here by Magic
Location Really quite south
Comments "batrachomyomachia", fantastic! Please include a word this obscure in all future mailings, Mil. Your co-operation with the whims of a total stranger is greatly appreciated.

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Guest 6,486 signed in on Thursday, April 23rd at 8:21pm
Name Maartin
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Pretoria
Comments Oi Mil!

I only recently started reading your books. Dark Africa. What more can I say?

Anyhow - in my humble opinion (as ruler of The World) you are one of the best authors EVER.

Having arguments about nothing is really how things go in the real world (not the American one).

I look forward to having my mind licked by more of your books and website antics.

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Guest 6,485 signed in on Friday, April 10th at 10:38pm
Name Shawn
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location Indianapolis, Indiana USA
Comments Hello, to all my brother and sister twats. Hello as well to Mil, the twatfather of one and all.

Mil, the stores in America won't stock your books, but the libraries will. Score one for the homeless, then.

A fella I know in England tipped me off to your books. When he said you were a bit funnier than, say Gavin OR Stacey, I thought he might be having me on. But your first three books were a riot. I was pleased to read them over a long weekend spent largely in the toilet - a rather severe case of food poisoning being to blame.

Digestive tract issues resolved and your first three titles behind me (so to speak), I wasn't sure what to do next and so ambled aimlessly through life for several months until a trick of memory reminded me of this site.

You've got a new book out. Cheers and other equally British expressions of encouragement. I'll buy a copy on Amazon once the crowd thins out a bit.

Mil, one other thing. If you're still working on the screenplay for TMGAIHAA, and if you have any influence over that project that goes beyond writing, could you see what can be done to keep Simon Pegg out of it?

Thanks large,
Shawn

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Guest 6,484 signed in on Thursday, April 9th at 3pm
Name Katie
Led here by Magic
Location DC
Comments I only wish I could be so witty during arguments! Most of the time I have to revert to saying "when we tell people this story, I actually said this." Because the really good lines never come until later than they are needed.

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Guest 6,483 signed in on Friday, March 27th at 2:15am
Name nick dibble
Led here by Search engine
Comments Witty read indeed my friend, 'natch'...bet that takes you back to your amiga power days!? sorry... was just doing a bit of drunken 30 year old "cyberweb" browsing and remembered a good old magazine! "MAUD, WHO IS THAT AT THE DOORS OF THE SCULLERY?" Bellows Seigfried Candlemoth. "Officer Clemthorpe" replies Maud in her tobacco-sultry tone. " Then why...Why doth he don a Codpiece made of what one can only describe as a material of...of...Cod? The moon promptly exploded. on an external note, keep writing good man, good book! BTW I'm A Twat.

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Guest 6,482 signed in on Thursday, March 26th at 7:13pm
Name Kerry Loftus
Led here by Search engine
Location Miramar, FL
Comments Utterly brilliant. My ribs suffered much abuse as I did my best to hold in my laughter while attempting to look as though I was still working.

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Guest 6,481 signed in on Tuesday, March 10th at 5:45pm
Name Leighla
My page I don't have one cuz I don't know html all that well yet.
My URL http://your face
Led here by Magic
Location Springfield, Missouri
Comments You and Margret remind me so much of my boyfriend [fiance?-oh we plan to get married... eventually.] that it's quite scary. We've even had some of the same arguments. Like hanging up things. Only he's more Margret and I'm more you. Ok, so most of the time I'm Margret. I can't lie to you, you made me giddy with laughter. Oh, and we both like Buffy!I was rather sad when they stopped making them but now I have all seven seasons and annoy James [my fiance/boyfriend] by watching them all the time.

Anyhow, thanks for the awesome page. I haven't laughed that hard in a really really really really long time.

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Guest 6,480 signed in on Sunday, March 8th at 4:31pm
Name Karrisa
Led here by Search engine
Location Minneapolis
Comments I've never been more happy with Stumbled Upon's features than when I stumbled upon your website. Hilarious! And I can still see how much you love Margret. I love Margret, she almost inspires me... HAHA! :D

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Guest 6,479 signed in on Tuesday, March 3rd at 9:45am
Name Lesley
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Scotland/Canada
Comments Well done. Hilarious, even for an Englishman. You have the kind of relationship I have always dreamed of. Margret is my idol.

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Guest 6,478 signed in on Friday, February 20th at 10:07am
Name brendan
Led here by Web page
Location South Africa
Comments Mil, I'm only sorry i didnt find you earlier. Literally hours of my employers time, spent healing the wounds inflicted on me from the daily grind.

Priceless.

I'm not sure what is funnier -Margrets nakedness, or your refusal to admiot that sometimes, but only sometimes, youre the agressor here?

The potplant in the shower was your finest hour.

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Guest 6,477 signed in on Thursday, February 19th at 1:21am
Name Paul Warren
Led here by Search engine
Location Canada
Comments Stumbled onto this literally with the Stumble! plug-in for Firefox.

Great reading, and I think I dated Margret's evil twin years ago :)

I smile about that because I can really appreciate the passion a relationship like yours requires, and I think part of me will always miss that.

Thanks for sharing.

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Guest 6,476 signed in on Monday, February 16th at 2:09am
Name alexandra
My page oh, crap.
My URL http://majorfauxpas.livejournal.com
Led here by Magic
Comments This is possibly my favorite site that I've stumbled upon. I know that it's kind of bad to laugh at other people's expense, but... it was so ridiculous. I hope you don't mind for bringing a smile to some random girl's face. :)

- alexandra

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Guest 6,475 signed in on Thursday, February 12th at 9:07pm
Name Nate F
My page NSF Designs
My URL http://nsfdesigns.com
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Michigan, USA
Comments Many congratulations on hooking a wonderful girl, I hope I'm half as lucky someday! Thanks for the many good laughs :)

Except Canada is not in any way, shape, or form, America. But we won't go there, shall we not?

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Guest 6,474 signed in on Wednesday, January 28th at 6:09am
Name Rebell
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Brisbane, Australia
Comments Its pages like yours that make working in a shop alone for 8 hours a day bareable. However i do get strange looks from people passing by that see me randomly lose control of my laughter.
Great stuff, keep it up!

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Guest 6,473 signed in on Saturday, January 17th at 8:35am
Name I am scared to write it as my wife might see it
Led here by Search engine
Comments I was laughing so hard my wife came in the room and beat me up again.

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Guest 6,472 signed in on Monday, January 12th at 10:42am
Name Raven
My page My own Writings and such
My URL http://black-rose-in-bloom.deviantart.com
Led here by Coincidence
Location Panama City Beach, FL, USA
Comments Happened upon your page via StumbleUpon (a happy way to kill time); what an interesting way to document mundane life and make it funny and amusing! THAT, friend, takes skills. Best of luck to the two of you.

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Guest 6,471 signed in on Tuesday, January 6th at 11:28am
Name Trish
Led here by Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location CA
Comments At first I was appalled at how anybody could act like that. I wouldn't relish getting in to arguments day after day in a never ending cycle. I thought you two really didn't like each other and were only together for some asinine reason. As I read on though I realized you two loved each other and that she is just crazy and that is one of the things you love about her. After reading more and more of the page I have come to find myself liking Margret. I find her leaps of logic (or lack there of) to be astounding and record worthy. I also find them highly amusing. I think you may find me joining your mailing list sometime soon. As soon as I am done leaving this comment that is. Anyway, I am thinking about buying one of your books. =D Yay for me.

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Guest 6,470 signed in on Tuesday, January 6th 2009 at 2:03am
Name Cecilia
Led here by Web page
Location Texas
Comments I found your page linked from Christopher Moore's site. Then I proceeded to waste 3 hours here. I blame you. So funny it's scary, or so scary it's funny.

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Guest 6,469 signed in on Wednesday, December 24th 2008 at 3:02pm
Name Roger Pilcher
Led here by Barry
Location Hephzibah, GA, USA
Comments Brilliant! It is a rare gift to read a page on the internet and actually laugh out loud.

"I'm just sorry that the majority have to share a country with such a large minority of yawping, jingoistic, humourless, moronic wankers. Oh, and my sympathies about your President too."

Finally, somebody understands me. Maybe, just maybe, we got it right this time, President-wise.

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Guest 6,468 signed in on Saturday, December 20th at 5pm
Name Tre LaDormin
Led here by Magic
Location a place where Mil won't go
Comments Merry Christmas. Keep ducking, and be glad that it wasn't 79 bags of uncooked spuds.

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Guest 6,467 signed in on Wednesday, December 17th at 9:31am
Name David
My page No webspace.
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location America
Comments Your website kept me entertained for hours, so much so that I had to join your mailing list. I've had my share of psychotic girlfriends as well, though they were more of the "I hate you and everything else" variety of psychotic, rather than Margret, who is a kind of psychotic girlfriend that is far more terrifying (though at least funny, in a way). Though I'm sure I'm headed down that road anyway.

I'll have to buy your books so I can read them while I'm at work. Seriously. It'd pass the time. It's writers like you that remind me why I love to write so much.

Best wishes to you and Margret.

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Guest 6,466 signed in on Friday, December 5th at 1:47am
Name Mark A Urquhart-webb
My page Scamdex
My URL http://www.scamdex.com
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location Sacramento, california
Comments My wife spends several hours each day practicing the flute. She has been doing this as far as I can work out for the last 25 years. She has never performed, not once in all that time. The thought of doing so is abhorrent to her. At the same time, she is considering the purchase of a new flute that costs the same as a loaded, low mileage, late model Nissan Quest.

I have just had the third in a series of phone conversations where I am berated mercilessly about the slowness of the Internet and the time it takes for the computer to reboot.

You are not alone.

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Guest 6,465 signed in on Wednesday, November 12th at 4:28pm
Name Dana
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location American in China
Comments I did none of my homework tonight because I read this page for hours. It was a grand time, and I think I'm in love with your girlfriend despite having never previously demonstrated any lesbian tendencies (well...not *too* many) or, you know, met her. Insanity has never been so endearing. LOVE your sense of humor, great stuff. Best of luck to you, Margret, and the boys :)

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Guest 6,464 signed in on Thursday, October 30th at 9:26pm
Marina of Germany sought a private audience with Mil for a secret talk, but in a way that's drawn everyone's attention to it.

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Guest 6,463 signed in on Tuesday, October 21st at 12:51am
Name Leah
My page bloodybluemoon13@falsebit.myspace.com
Led here by Magic
Location Colorado, United States
Comments I hit stumbleupon this morning . . . I only clicked the button once, and immersed myself for five hours in this interesting rant. My boyfriend was a little less than enthusiastic, wondering why I cared to read so much about a man in Britain.
This is a wonderful installment, and a fascinating way to promote your books. Thanks for the inadvertent tip.

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Guest 6,462 signed in on Sunday, October 19th at 11:12pm
Kevin of America, sadly. sought a private audience with Mil for a secret talk, but in a way that's drawn everyone's attention to it.

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Guest 6,461 signed in on Monday, October 6th at 9:24am
Name Kirsten
My page The Overgrown Hobbit
My URL http://variable
Led here by Magic
Location Snoqualmie River Valley
Comments I don't know why I bother with SF anymore: One can just go observe British People in their native habitat.

Would you please reconsider having the contents the TMGAIHAA bound up as a printed book? Reading it on the computer, with a nice scotch, in the bathtub, isn't as relaxing as one could hope; what with the power cords and all.

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Guest 6,460 signed in on Wednesday, September 24th at 3:02pm
Name Kersearge the Wizard
Led here by Magic
Location Uranus
Comments Tell margaret she's a saint to put up with you

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Guest 6,459 signed in on Wednesday, September 24th at 7:46am
Name David Seekings
My page General Emulation
My URL http://www.generalemu.net
Led here by Magic
Location Dunkirk, NY (Soon to be Plymouth, UK)
Comments Hi. Another yank here (hope that doesn't worry you). Just making a quick note that my fiance (who lives in the UK) showed me this site and had a laugh at how much our relationship can be full of arguments as well (she puts it down to me being American, and that makes me strongly opinionated or something to that extent, while I put it down to her being void of emotion, as British can appear to us Americans at times).

The culture and lifestyle differences certainly make things interesting, to say the least, but in the end (as is the case with you and Margret), we don't let it keep us from being together. In fact, I've just obtained a settlement visa to the UK to marry her, and will be arriving in about a month's time and married to her a month after my arrival.

That said, we both got a kick out of the TMGAIHAA page, and I just signed up for the mailing list tonight (that Thing-o-Matic page is great by the way). Take care and thanks for helping me use my time productively.

Dave The Yank

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Guest 6,458 signed in on Wednesday, September 3rd at 10:07am
Name Jim
Led here by Coincidence
Location Vancouver, WA
Comments Greetings! Thank you for the great, side-splitting laughs! :D

I've been remembering to come back to the TMGAIHAA site every couple years, and I thoroughly enjoy myself whenever I do. If I weren't rather lazy, I'd probably sign up for your Mailing List... but let's face it, lazy I am.

Still, I enjoy your work and am likely to pick up one or more of your books in the next 5 years. (I'll see what I can do about using a real bookstore when I do - Powell's in nearby Portland, OR is a peach! - but again, being lazy, I might just use a giftcard at one of those online behemoths.)

If I thought you had any real alternative, this would be where I'd encourage you to continue to be you. Luckily for both of us, I've lost the ability to determine if that made the sense I was trying for, and so won't be going there. But I will add that I like the way you think, and write, and hope the universe continues to reward you for doing... whatever it is you do.

:P

Tootles!

Jim

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Guest 6,457 signed in on Sunday, August 31st at 3:26pm
Name Ayla
Led here by Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location Nova Scotia, Canada
Comments Just thought I'd leave an asinine, doltish comment for your guestbook. It just wouldn't be right if I didn't, am I correct?

Loved the page, and I've joined the mailing list. Your humour is extensive and impressive. I bow to you.

I'm currently reading Love and Other Near Death Experiences and I'm enjoying it immensely.

:)

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Guest 6,456 signed in on Saturday, August 16th at 9:50am
Name Tomi
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location Memphis
Comments I believe wholeheartedly that Margaret is related to my ex-girlfriend. It's like reading my old relationship. Ah, the memories.

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Guest 6,455 signed in on Thursday, August 14th at 6:47pm
Name Clarence Young
Led here by Barry
Location Detroit, Michigan
Comments Your new friend for life, Mr. Millington! Bloody well thank you (nobody says "bloody well" in Detroit, particularly not 6'2" black men like me whose exposure to English life is watching "My Fair Lady" every year around Christmas. One of my wife's favorite movies--but I say it with whatever measure of sincerity necessary to avoid coming off as a rube)! You keep right on loving Margret the way you do. Lawnmower got stolen recently, so I really needed all those laughs your website (and I plan to buy books with your name on them, so those too) gave me. Be well and be happy, sir.

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Guest 6,454 signed in on Friday, August 8th at 11:49pm
Name mez
Led here by Barry
Comments my girlfriend is just as bad, women are lovably bonkers in my opinion.

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Guest 6,453 signed in on Friday, August 8th at 2:54am
Name Liz
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Sturgeon bay, Wisconsin, USA
Comments don't everyone bicker like this?

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Guest 6,452 signed in on Saturday, August 2nd at 8:32pm
Name Bob Abbey
Led here by Magic
Location Austin, Texas
Comments brilliant writer, and very entertaining! I haven't laughed this hard at something I've found on the internet in a longgggg time, thanks!

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Guest 6,451 signed in on Wednesday, July 30th at 2:41pm
Name Alex C
Led here by Search engine
Comments Both of you sound like a pain in the ass. Reading this blog is like watching a gigantic traffic accident in slow motion. You should have been denied a license to reproduce.

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Guest 6,450 signed in on Tuesday, July 22nd at 10:14pm
Name Karen Acosta
Led here by Magic
Location Lawrence, Kansas (US)
Comments I am a Paraguayan (rare species from South America) who is working on her doctorate degree in the US (so, LOTS of spare time). I stumbled upon your website a couple of years ago and laughed too much. I forgot about it for a while but when I returned to it I found that it still made me laugh quite a lot.

I needed more. I joined your mailing list. After a while, I decided that instead of reading the same website and emails several times I should probably start reading your books. I did read your books (and loved them all).

I came back to your website because I just got your new book in the mail today and I am trembling with anticipation. I realized that I have never written to tell you how much I love your writing.

You are delightfully witty and unnervingly funny. You should continue to write books (and make me happy) for a very, very long time.

Love,

Karen

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Guest 6,449 signed in on Monday, July 21st at 10:11am
Name Kyla
Led here by Magic
Location Vancouver, BC
Comments Thanks for the grins...
You sound mad for one another... seriously mad.....

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Guest 6,448 signed in on Sunday, July 20th at 4:56pm
Lisa-jayne Crawford of sunny and for some time at least dry Hull yorkshire sought a private audience with Mil for a secret talk, but in a way that's drawn everyone's attention to it.

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Guest 6,447 signed in on Thursday, July 17th at 6am
Name Bill Vincent
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Oregon, USA
Comments I must confess, I've never quite understood couples that fight like wolverines, yet love one another feverishly. Perhaps I'm just too non-confrontational. BTW, from the single pic, and the things you've said about her (minus the psychopath bits) seems to be well worth it. You, on the other hand, seem to be an insufferable twat the likes of which I could truly develop a great respect for. Cheers.

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Guest 6,446 signed in on Wednesday, July 16th at 12:23am
Name Nic
Led here by Web page
Location Newcastle, UK
Comments i love reading your stories, they're hilarious! they really brightened up my day! i also love margaret! never a dull day i'm guessing haha!

do you mind if i put a little link to your site on my blog?

anyway, good luck and best wishes to you both in the future, i look foreward to reading more :)

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Guest 6,445 signed in on Monday, July 14th at 9:26pm
Name Angie
Led here by Web page
Location Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Comments You are hilarious.

Canadians are not the same as Americans.

I'm sure people around me at my office think there is something wrong with me as I am constantly laughing out loud at your stories by myself. Some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. Looking forward to the next mailing list!

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Guest 6,444 signed in on Sunday, July 13th at 12:56am
Name Jess
Led here by Coincidence
Comments Thankyou very much for the box reminding me to read the FAQ, I was just about to indeed make myself look stupid.

The website makes me laugh out loud a lot. Then 'Love and Other near death experiences' made me laugh a lot too, but in a completely different way. Genius, please keep arguing and writing.

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Guest 6,443 signed in on Thursday, July 10th at 8:06pm
Name Col
My page Don't have one :(
Led here by Barry
Location NL
Comments This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages. Margret sounds like one mad woman, all the madder for putting up with you! (Are we allowed to make jokes too? :P )
I agree with her about the KitKat, by the way!
Also the plant obsession, might be from mainland Europe, I've been living here (NL) for about 7 years, everyone (women!) buys plants, all the time.

Looking forward to the continuing insallments - just joined your mailing list.

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Guest 6,442 signed in on Sunday, July 6th at 4:39am
Name MissT
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location Perth, Western Australia
Comments Several of my "virtual" friends have your link on their blogs. Margret sounds fabulous.Enjoy your relationship!

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Guest 6,441 signed in on Thursday, July 3rd at 7:26am
Name Jake Sebastian-Jones
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Perth, WA
Comments Mil, I'm actually sad that i've finished reading your page. Your family have been my good friends these last two highly productive days at work, and i'll miss you as i stumble upon other things.

Love you all,
Jake

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Guest 6,440 signed in on Wednesday, July 2nd at 5:18am
Name Michael Alan Anthony
Led here by Coincidence
Location Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Comments I enjoyed your entertaining and humorous anecdotes.

Yeah, Americans and Canadians are quite different:

They are all named "Bob" or "Rick", while Americans sport names such as "Paco", "Guillermo", "Hernández", and etc.

(Yes, you just witnessed an American using diacritic. You see, a tiny portion of the so-called Space-Time Continuum collapsed ~20 yrs. ago, temporarily opening a portal to a Superman-esque Bizarro universe, sporting its own Bizarro United States, from whence I emanate.)

Anyway, thanks again.
Might buy one of your books.

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Guest 6,439 signed in on Saturday, June 28th at 7:23am
Name Cristin
Led here by Web page
Location Deep in the heart of Texas
Comments I actually "stumbled" here, courtesy of stumbleupon.com. So anyway, I am an American, and I find your page quite brilliantly hilarious. Thanks for sharing!

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Guest 6,438 signed in on Friday, June 6th at 5:31am
Name Steve
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location In the midwest, gGod I wish I was back in California
Comments Good. Funny. Me Like.

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Guest 6,437 signed in on Wednesday, June 4th at 6:17pm
Name Rebecca
Led here by Search engine
Location Michigan, USA
Comments A co-worker at my past graveyard shift job passed your blog on. I've continued reading and passing it on myself. Everyone enjoys your newsletters too!

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Guest 6,436 signed in on Thursday, May 22nd at 7:04am
Name Craigaroonie
Led here by Barry
Location Brisbane Queensland Australia
Comments I didn't know you knew Barry!
Anyway, as Alyson Hannigan said as she rolled over and put her cigarette out, "Did you see what that bastard wrote today?", I have come here recently and I love it.
I've registered for the mail list but I haven't logged on at home yet to verify. I'll do it later when I'm released from this re-education facility.
Keep writing or we'll have nothing to wipe...em, nothing to read.

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Guest 6,435 signed in on Tuesday, May 20th at 10:02am
Name Drew
Led here by Web page
Location Georgia, US of A
Comments Mil,

I can only laugh at your (Read: Margret's) exploits and wish you and your's a long and happy life. I'd put "peaceful" in there too, but I feel as though that would be counterproductive.

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Guest 6,434 signed in on Sunday, May 18th at 10:18pm
Name Scott
Led here by Magic
Location Wash DC. Well, close enough for YOU to call it that...
Comments Yes, really, magic.

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Guest 6,433 signed in on Sunday, May 18th at 7:30pm
Name Matt Lockard
My page California Health Insurance
My URL http://www.mattsinsurance4ca.com
Led here by Search engine
Location Ventura California USA
Comments This website is so funny. I found your page after listening to a local radio station and a guy named Tom Leykis. I just typed in "girlfriend argue". You should do stand-up.

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Guest 6,432 signed in on Sunday, May 18th at 2:36pm
Name Michelle
Led here by E-mail from friend
Comments I found this page at 1am after the 15th time I had said "Oh, I'll just hit the stumble button ONE more time" and proceeded to stay up until 3:30 laughing my ass off. Margaret reminds me of my Aunt Karen, whose insanity manifests itself in a completely different way. As a "for instance," she once painted every object in her house white (including my cousin's jewelry box that had been in my father's family for several generations and hand-made by a great-great-great something-or-other in Sweden) just because it made everything look cleaner. Playing Trivial Pursuit, she'd answer other people's questions. And, yet we trust her with the education of children...where four times a day she makes the kids line their desks up on the pieces of tape she has adhered to the floor. Hence the state of education in America.

I'm hunting down your books today!

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Guest 6,431 signed in on Sunday, May 11th at 5:06am
Name Keith
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location FL, USA, where you will likely never visit
Comments Actually, the "How did you find the page?" bit is a trifle misleading -- I quite literally stumbled upon the page with StumbleUpon. But that is neither here nor there, so I leave that out of the equation.

As it were, I cannot say I have been with any woman for as long as you have been with Margret, but I have found that no matter how much I feel I might be a little imbalanced, I remember every girl I have ever met. And, if it makes you feel any better, Margret appears to be the pinnacle of "a big ball of crazy." That being said, I did find your situation highly relatable, if only in that way that a man can pity another man, and yet, oddly enough, be jealous.

I would just like to say that I appreciate what you have done here. The comic relief -- which came on my own time and not my employer's, thank you! -- was well-worth the day it took for me to read through it all. And the highest form of praise I could possibly give to you is that given the chance to decide again whether or not to read it, I would likely take less time in deciding yes simply for the content, and not even consider moving away from the page, the cause of which would be the pupil-dilating abrasiveness of your color scheme.

Alas, palettes are not of significant interest to me. The writing, however, is, and your writing was grand.

Cheers!

Also, your anti-spam questions are quite a bit tricky!

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Guest 6,430 signed in on Saturday, May 3rd at 11:48pm
Name K Spot
Led here by Magic
Location a beach, a box, a box on a beach
Comments Very very funny and oh so close to home! Great work.

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Guest 6,429 signed in on Thursday, May 1st at 4:20pm
Name Bernadette
Led here by Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location Indiana (Yes, Mil...Blah, I know), US
Comments My dearest Mil,

This web page is a right laugh, in the good sense of the phrase. Even though I am an American, some of my favorite programs consist of Flying Circus re-runs, The Mighty Boosh, and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. So when I was introduced to your site, I found myself immediately hooked on your sense of underlying humor. I actually have a similar writing style (as well as humor), so I was more than willing to procrastinate on random school assignments in order to explore your site. So thank you, Mil, for providing me an escape from the college workload. I am highly impressed with your site, and I plan on purchasing your books as well...you know, as soon as money allows me this luxury. Oh the joys of being a poor college student...

I'll keep reading if you keep writing, ~Bernadette

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Guest 6,428 signed in on Wednesday, April 30th at 10:51am
Name Tom McCarthy
My page The Contrarian Review
My URL http://contrarianreview.blogspot.com
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Stanwood, WA
Comments Dear Mil,

When arguing with Margret, have you ever been tempted to play the Nazi card? Just out of sheer desperation? Or is this entirely out of the question, like leaping into a volcano or deliberately watching the "The Bachelor"?

P.S. Thank you for introducing me to Alyson Hannigan. Metaphorically, of course.

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Guest 6,427 signed in on Tuesday, April 29th at 10:58pm
Name Heather
Led here by Magic
Location Kansas
Comments I just had to let you know that I laughed myself sick. I have favorited this website for the next time my husband and I have an argument along these lines. He's due to be home in a few minutes, so it shouldn't be long....

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Guest 6,426 signed in on Saturday, April 19th at 8:34pm
Name Brandon
Led here by Search engine
Location Canada
Comments Hello Mil (nice name), the name's Brandon, this short fourteen year old kid you have never heard of (nor shall you ever hear of or from, besides now). Here we go with a little rant about whatever comes to mind.

Hmm... let me start by saying that you sir, are a genius. I received the book from a good friend and I can easily state that TMGAIHAA is possibly the best piece of literature out there since it is so... realistic. Ish. Sort of.
Well.... you get my drift.

Bottom line is, I'm reading it again for the umpteenth time and enjoying it.

And Canadians are not the same as Americans. Canada and America are two completely different places filled with completely different people. And may I remind you that your country, England, colonized ours, Canada. So bugger off you twat.

Yours sincerely,

Brandon

P.S. - Is Mil your real name? o_O

Oh, and which book of yours should I buy next.

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Guest 6,425 signed in on Thursday, April 17th at 7:32pm
Name Mel
Led here by Magic
Location Prague, Czech Republic
Comments Hey Mil,
Just wanted to say what a great website this is. I'm home from work, sick, with a lot of time on my hands, and have just read your entire webpage. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, so thank you!
I look forward to picking up a copy of your books, and reading more in your emails. Don't know if they will have them here in Prague, especially in English. Nevermind, I'll get my hands on them one way or another...
You've also encouraged me to do some more writing, you have a wicked sense of humour.
Cheers,
Mel

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Guest 6,424 signed in on Sunday, April 13th at 6:44pm
Name Jacy
Led here by E-mail from idiot partner
Location Middlesex, UK
Comments i really empathise with margret. We have sense that goes beyond most :D

oh and i think my boyfriend sobbingly empathises with you too :)
bless 'im

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Guest 6,423 signed in on Friday, April 4th at 1:27pm
Name Emma Banton
Led here by Magic
Comments Hi,

I love TMGAIHAA and the thing-o-matic has successfully killed many work related hours for me. Hurrah!!! :)

BUT the story on there with the toothbrushes ........ the second picture "in detail" doesn't seem to work. And in my pathetic life this is driving my crazy :( Please re post it!! Pretty please?

Other than that, tip top site and I am loving the books.

Love

Emma x

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Guest 6,422 signed in on Wednesday, April 2nd at 7:50am
Name Aaron Chester
Led here by Web page
Location Pukekohe, New Zealand
Comments I fould this by stumbleupon. I am amazed how you keep sane with her around! So which one of you has the bruises?

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Guest 6,421 signed in on Sunday, March 30th at 3:35am
Name Katie
Led here by Coincidence
Location Christchurch New Zealand (not the old one)
Comments Despite the above location, I am an atheist.. that is just by the by
Mil.. I enjoy your newsletters, I am astonished that you survive them, after Margaret reads them.
Your reading I also enjoyed.. good to put a voice to the text.. wow.. you have an accent.
Keep up the goodwork, you are worth every penny we pay for you.
Keep up with the kiwifruit..

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Guest 6,420 signed in on Friday, March 28th at 6:03am
Name chuck
Led here by Magic
Location Pennsylvania
Comments i've had this page bookmarked forever. on every new computer i get i bookmark this page. it is book marked on my office computers and my wifes, lol. read it a bunch of time and used to be on the mailing list, somehow got bumped off. i read this when i am having a bad day or whatever and i laugh hysterically the entire time. this is my all time favorite site. so funny. a lot of things that make you think about your own relationships and let you know that all women are crazy and it is not just mine. HAR!!!!!!!!!!

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Guest 6,419 signed in on Monday, March 24th at 8:22am
Name Sam
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Canada
Comments Thanks for the awesomely funny read. If it weren't for the fact that I am a full-time student and thus without the kind of free time that plagues the average office worker, I'd be begging you for all the mailing lists as well.

As it is, I've enjoyed wasting some two hours that I should have spent writing essays! And torturing my boyfriend with the fact that there are couples out there that are more 'ridiculously cute in an insanely odd way' than he and I are.

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Guest 6,418 signed in on Wednesday, February 27th at 9:52am
Name Liz
My page red crayon circle
My URL http://redcrayoncircle.blogspot.com
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Colorado, USA
Comments Just wanted to express my enjoyment over this great accidental find. You are a brilliant writer and I can't wait to go out and get one of your books! I can't even tell you how much I laughed aloud while I red this.

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Guest 6,417 signed in on Sunday, February 24th at 5:42pm
Name As soon as I am named, I'll let you know
My page The House in the Chantry
My URL http://www.google.com
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location EZ-Boy Recliner at a 45 degree tilt and N by NW
Comments How did Vegemite become the #1 best selling yeast extract in the Universe? Poor Marmite has slumped in popularity to #2 ahead of Promite, which I have never heard of nor seen so don't really know much about. In any event, could Vegemite's green image be behind the popularity? Is the sweetness of Marmite damning it to a fate worse then New Coke? Who is Dr. Cyril P. Callister and what was he brewing in 1923?

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Guest 6,416 signed in on Sunday, February 24th at 5:43am
Name Jessa Marsh
My page Jessa Marsh
My URL http://www.jessamarsh.com
Led here by Search engine
Location Chicago
Comments I stumbled across your site thanks to my best friend who finds it amusing to drop song lyrics in random conversations from bands I have never heard of, thus forcing me to throw phrases into search engines constantly. I found it to be a delightful way to avoid my fiction homework (I'm forced to write a parody of a story story by Kafka- so far I have a woman waking up as a turtle and after that it's pure panicking torture to write anymore) and I went ahead and bought your novels. Best of luck to you. Thanks for the amusement.

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Guest 6,415 signed in on Thursday, February 21st at 7:47pm
Name Andre Escobar
Led here by Search engine
Location Florida
Comments Mill, if you are still alive...no wait if you are still ambulatory, please notice that as of Febuary 21, 2008 your site was at about 4,900,100
logged visitors. Please send more mailing lists. We're practically surviving on ONE Christmas letter a year. I have also noticed that you lack a Facebook profile, this added to the fact that you have taken down your email link would seem to indicate that you are deliberately trying to elude your (Margrets)fans.

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Guest 6,414 signed in on Saturday, February 16th at 3:29pm
Name Logan Upson
Led here by Search engine
Location Union, OR (unfortunately)
Comments Mil,

I could go on and on about the hilarity of your site, or the near herculean fortitude one must possess to write out all those verbal battles, or even write about what a damn cool parent you sound like. Instead I will simply compliment you on the one thing about your site that (sadly) pleases me beyond all others. You can spell things correctly. And not just 2 out of 5 words, but something like 23895 out of 23896! Of course, you also have good grammar and punctuation skills, but at this point in my enraged tour of the increasingly illiterate internet (alliterative), I will settle for simple good spelling. Why, when the 3 seconds of work required to activate the spell check will eliminate 99f all spelling errors, are we still constantly plagued by sentences (barely) that look like they came from the kid playing the banjo at the beginning of Deliverance? Oh, but I don't misspell things you say? You only use text messaging based acronyms (lets not debate further what an acronym is, please) and shortened words? Or you only use totally l33t hax0rz talk? Die! Die a painful and humiliating death that will preferably involve some combination of pavement, heckling and some very large mammal! If you are in such a damn hurry you just must shorten thanks to thnx (a total savings of (drum roll please) two whole fucking letters), then you clearly do not have the time required to be reading things such as TMGAIHAA. And as for the hacker talk garbage - nobody thinks you are cool because of that but other gaming obsessed losers. And trust me I know from losers - I went to a Magic: The Gathering summer camp. Don't know what I'm talking about? Trust me - it qualifies me as someone rather knowledgeable of what only nerds care about.

My point is this: Mil, you are a shining beacon of virtue (and, we must all assume, a sexual god beyond compare) in a vast wasteland of lazy, non-erudite, spelling-incompetent weasels. Thank you for this site and any and all other contributions you have made to the human race. And yes, I'm aware how pompous this post sounds, but one must come off like this if one is as completely righteous as I.

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Guest 6,413 signed in on Friday, February 15th at 6:08pm
Name Minstres
Led here by Search engine
Comments Youre kind of the one that seems crazy to me. In many of the above cases Margaret seems to be doing rational things... like the dreamcatcher and perhaps giving the plant water in the bath tub, my mum does this all the time.

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Guest 6,412 signed in on Tuesday, February 12th at 10:30am
Name Trish
Led here by Magic
Location Melbourne Australia
Comments Hey, I look like Andy McDowell....is it really that bad?

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Guest 6,411 signed in on Tuesday, February 12th at 3:31am
Name Phil Coxon
My page homepage? Is that the contents page?
Led here by Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location Farnborough, Hampshire (the original Hampshire, not the New one)
Comments You don't slag off Walsall enough.

Actually, now that I think about it, Bilston seems to have got off scot free too. (or is it scott free? I'm never sure)

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Guest 6,410 signed in on Tuesday, February 12th at 12:33am
Name Dean
Led here by I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location Melb, Aust.
Comments ...I think I was married to Margret's sister.

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Guest 6,409 signed in on Tuesday, February 5th at 10:27pm
Name Jack
Led here by Web page
Location England!
Comments Your netspace collection of arguments certainly proves an excellent point for conversation. And it begs the question; "After all of that mind-crushing irritation which seems to be the product of your hypothetical friction, how on this universal plane do you evade spontaneous combustion through anger-piqued adrenaline overdose?"

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Guest 6,408 signed in on Friday, February 1st at 11:26pm
Name NaffNaff
Led here by Search engine
Comments I had to leave the flat this evening to loosen the jaw a little and walk downstairs and tell this internet cafe computer with the slightly wider screen "I hate my girlfriend" and now I don't hate her anymore. Thankyou. Just reminded me that smart and fantastic really don't come with sane very often. Particularly not with all that sticking it to the man women have to do. (I often wonder if I have recently become the man but I don't think the man is prone to self doubt so I have to just promise I'll catch myself offguard the next time.)

curry will cure.

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Guest 6,407 signed in on Friday, February 1st at 3:52pm
Name Isaac
Led here by Magic
Location UK
Comments hmmm, I can not believe how offensive this site is, I read every page searching for some redemption and basic some hope that you are indeed not the devil incarnate.

But hell, it is damn funny and quite touching really. Thanks for the entertainment and I might actually buy one of the books too. :)

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Guest 6,406 signed in on Wednesday, January 30th at 2:39am
Name Michael
Led here by Web page
Location USA, California
Comments Awesome, Awesome stories.

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Guest 6,405 signed in on Monday, January 28th at 1:52am
Name Jeffrey
Led here by Coincidence
Location New York, New York USA
Comments The site and your novels bring to mind the work Tom Sharpe and Peter De Vries. Not their written work, mind you, but stuff they did in their gardens. Thanks so much for the laughs...I'm sure I didn't deserve them, but you served them up, anyway. Commie.

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Guest 6,404 signed in on Saturday, January 26th at 11:30pm
Name Amy
Led here by Barry
Location Chicagoish
Comments Had to stop reading cause I was going tingly from laughing too hard. Amazing stuff. You remind me of a slightly less tragically dead Douglas Adams.

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Guest 6,403 signed in on Saturday, January 26th at 5:20am
Name Mira
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location Canada
Comments I throughly enjoy this page and your mailing list. I've finally gotten around to joining up my self ( it took some soul searching - i wasn't sure about the idiot part) thanks.

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Guest 6,402 signed in on Thursday, January 24th at 9:52am
Name ewin
Led here by Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location classified
Comments Note to Americans: this is a website intended for humor. Appropriate responses include "I thought it was funny", "I did not think it was funny", "I was offended and think such things should not be joked about", and "I think the author is in need of serious therapy".

The baby Jesus does not cry just because some git said you were unsophisticated in the FAQ. Just say what you think and stop apologizing (and let's please drop variations on the phrase "unlike those other Americans").

I thought it was funny. I thought some parts of the FAQ were unimpressively petulant. I rather like the stoplight hair. (See how easy that was?)

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Guest 6,401 signed in on Tuesday, January 22nd at 5:02pm
jeannine of NY sought a private audience with Mil for a secret talk, but in a way that's drawn everyone's attention to it.

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Guest 6,400 signed in on Tuesday, January 15th 2008 at 7:05pm
Name emma
Led here by E-mail from friend
Location urban concretia - Milk'n'Beans
Comments Have you thought about marketing Margret as an action figure? I would buy one.

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