It's currently 3:59pm on Thursday, September 2nd, and 6,547 guests have signed in.
Mil says: Behold my Guestbook. You may write your entry using the 'bit' at the top of page. You may read the entries of others by looking further down the page. The whole thing is based on literacy, really.
Public service announcement. If you don't check the FAQ before adding your entry you'll just make yourself look even more stupid in front of us all - this is your only warning.
Another public service announcement. I do not censor guestbook comments. However, I do remove spam advertising, probably because I'm a godless, pinko, gay-enabling liberal or something. Spammers have been writing special scripts to splatter this guestbook with their tiresome cant: the small test below aims to stop this by determining whether you're a human being or not (something you may have been wondering about anyway). Think of it like those dogs that sniff incoming hands to spot terminators.
Guest 6,547 signed in on Tuesday, August 31st at 1:49am
Name
Samantha
Led here by
Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location
London, England
Comments
Instead of furthering my education I stayed up to read your page.
Guest 6,545 signed in on Tuesday, August 10th at 7:18am
Name
Sierra
Led here by
Barry
Location
Missouri
Comments
Slothing through another boring day here in Misery when I stumbled upon your website -- and what a merry day it became. For the past couple hours, I've been reading through the hilarity that is this site and have proceeded to have a coronary from laughter.
Don't worry (which I'm sure you were), I live to skulk through the murky depths of the internet to find where I can get a copy of your book, as I can add another reason as to why my town is inadequate.
By the way, the correct way to cut a kiwi (obviously) is to cut DIAGONALLY. It really is the only proper way.
Guest 6,544 signed in on Wednesday, July 28th at 9:46pm
Name
Eric
Led here by
Web page
Location
Texas
Comments
Found your site and joined the mailing list several years ago, and tend to forget about it until an email arrives... then it's another day or two catching up, hoping my snorting isn't heard outside of the office. BTW, while I agree that Canadians are Americans, they do have an accent different than that of those living further south. Next time you talk with one, listen closely to how they pronounce "about" or similar words. Nothing wrong with that, just different.
Guest 6,543 signed in on Saturday, July 10th at 7:42am
Name
Denise
Led here by
Magic
Location
Australia
Comments
I have just spent an entertaining couple of hours reading your site, after being given a copy of your book "Love and other....etc". You have enlivened an otherwise dreary wet Saturday in downtown Ettalong (look it up in your Funk and Wagnall, Land of Oz). Looking forward to further fun!
Guest 6,542 signed in on Thursday, July 1st at 8:19am
Name
Zach
Led here by
Coincidence
Location
USA
Comments
The page is great. A few bone-headed friends don't quite understand or see the humor in any of it, but I'm purchasing your material. Also, instead of studying for a final exam (which I aced), I burned 2 hours reading this.
Guest 6,541 signed in on Tuesday, June 29th at 3:47pm
Name
Joel
Led here by
I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location
Glasgow
Comments
Well, I laughed, I cried (well not so much cried tears, and not in a sad way either, in fact scrap that, lets just say I laughed and then at least we know that we have started things honestly if nothing else)..unfortunately I read from the top of the page down to the bottom and as such have managed to avoid what seems to have been a rather stressfull day at work (some may argue it would have been less stressful had I been working rather than trying unsuccessfully to hide snorts of laughter, but I prefer to think that I have been playing the role of the "island of calm")..anyway, I have really enjoyed reading through your postings, and look forward to recieving more in the future now that I am on the mailing list. So thank you, for improving my tuesday, dare I say my week, significantly. I hope whatever you are doing at the moment is going well for you. :)
Guest 6,540 signed in on Monday, June 14th at 4:05am
Name
Craig
Led here by
Web page
Location
America
Comments
Hey Mil,
Just got yelled at for having too many boxes of cereal in the cabinet. (Kids need a variety, no?). Now, bear with me that I generally like to try to cut things off with the wife by issuing a gentlemanly, "Well, let's just agree to disagree then," but that usually does surprisingly little to curtail the impending argument. "No we do not," she said emphatically. "Well do we agree?" I asked. "No," she replied. "Well then we agree to disagree, " I concluded, which led her to finish the argument with her informing me (with all due respect) that I'm an a**hole.
By the way, last time I left a message in your guestbook you gave me some advice and told me not to ask the wife what she thought but I did anyway and now you are in the doghouse too. Well done, Mil.
Guest 6,539 signed in on Thursday, May 27th at 11:49am
Name
Harry Bowden
Led here by
Coincidence
Location
Bristol (the real one in ngland)
Comments
My wife is called SWINBW - She Who IS Never Bloody Wrong! Therefore, whatever happens - WHATEVER happens - if I burn the dinner, if I break a plate, if we invade Iraq, if Ghegis Khan runs amok - it's automatically my fault. Do you have the same problem?
Guest 6,538 signed in on Thursday, May 27th at 11:41am
Name
Harry Bowden
Led here by
Coincidence
Location
Bristol (the real one in England)
Comments
Found the page, laughed, forgot about it. Found it again five years later, laughed again, subscribed to mailing list, will probably forget it again! Until the emails arrive.
Guest 6,537 signed in on Monday, May 24th at 3:38am
Name
Sharon
Led here by
Coincidence
Location
Georgia
Comments
I do spend lots of time reading this when I should be working. But, oh well. Funny stuff. Can't say that my husband and I argue like this, but we have had our share after 35 years...
Guest 6,536 signed in on Friday, May 21st at 6:21pm
Name
dana
Led here by
Magic
Location
ohio
Comments
Found you through stumbleupon and I LOVE the site, haven't seen a guestbook in years haha. Sadly I am just like your poor gf and my Fiance and I laughed for a long time reading :)
Guest 6,535 signed in on Friday, May 7th at 11:41am
Name
chris
Led here by
Coincidence
Location
UK
Comments
HAHA im supposed to be doing housework (mess that she has left from last nite!!!) whilst she is at work but instead im sat here reading your site and I feel we are sharing the same woman!?! Seriously my woman is utterly insane to the point i think I am the insane one! We argue all the time, never resolve anything and I rarely win an arguement. Dont walk away when she is speaking so you stand there and carry on and make things worse?!
Like heres one... Ive can do loads of housework but if I leave something then my efforts are wasted. what more do they want?
I could go on all day! Your site has made me realise I am not alone. I still love my woman but damn I hate her sometimes!
thanks for the hours of reading. some parts had me in tears.. some parts where so close to the truth that its like you are talking about my woman!!
Guest 6,534 signed in on Wednesday, May 5th at 12:34am
Name
Melynda Johnson
Led here by
Search engine
Location
Calgary, Canada
Comments
I'm gald to live in a world where people like you and Margret have found each other. Your life might be frustrating, but ahhhh, it makes me smile. Love the page and your books!!
Guest 6,530 signed in on Thursday, March 25th at 12:24pm
Name
Apps
Led here by
I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location
U.S.
Comments
So in your mailing list email of March 24th, 2010, your girlfriend is wearing both a skirt, AS WELL as pants? (She pulls up the skirt to show you the tag on her pants)
I can think of only two reasons for that - What you're calling pants is actually panties, or underwear - It's another way she keeps sex farther and farther away from you.
Guest 6,529 signed in on Sunday, March 21st at 4:31am
Name
Amanda
Led here by
Web page
Location
South Carolina, USA
Comments
Stumbled onto your page, read it, and laughed harder than I have in a while. Why? Damn dude, I think you live with the German version of my mother. Lord knows I love my mother, and I am sure you love Margret just as much, but I do feel your pain dude. I also can appreciate your continued adoration of such a character. With you in spirit dude... Plus, I promise to NEVER let my mother enter England without warning you... That Time-Space Continuum disruption thing that would occur requires LOTS of planning.
Guest 6,528 signed in on Saturday, March 20th at 5:43am
Name
Sandra
Led here by
Search engine
Location
Canadian, but currently trapped in Seattle, WA
Comments
Every time I feel a little down and too 'surrounded by morons' to continue, I come to read your website and it never fails to bring a smile. (And usually some Laughing Until I Cry as well)
Guest 6,527 signed in on Friday, March 12th at 4:31am
Name
Craig
Led here by
I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location
USA
Comments
Hey Mil,
I just gave your book "Instructions for Living Someone Else's Life" a 5 star review on Amazon.com. This increased the number of reviews 100from 1 to 2. I feel I deserve something for doing all that heavy lifting. By the way, I have a very similar relationship which is probably why I enjoy your writing so much. I always say "Thank God I got married, otherwise I could have gone my whole life without realizing that I was doing everything wrong. " Thankfully my wife has pointed out my missteps these 10 years. Ah, love.
Guest 6,526 signed in on Thursday, March 4th at 7:22pm
Name
Victoria Finn
Led here by
Magic
Location
TEXAS
Comments
huzza...I am human! And of course, being the ADD American that I am, I merely skimmed the FAQ section. Thankyou for justifying my arguments with my husband. As Margret sees things my way, it is you men that are wrong.
I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location
east coast usa
Comments
I first discovered your page something like five or fifty years ago (what?) and fell in love with your anecdotes. Your affection definitely shines in your stories, and while I don't ever want to meet Margaret, I relish the joy your stories bring me, and do consider your life together to be adorable. Keep writing :)
Guest 6,520 signed in on Tuesday, December 15th at 5:42am
Name
Peter Henry
Led here by
Search engine
Location
Congo
Comments
I loved it! I'm American, but I live in Africa and consider myself more African in culture... and I consider myself literate. :) I enjoyed your sense of humor; you're really talented. Keep it up!
Guest 6,519 signed in on Monday, December 14th at 12:06pm
Name
Leighla
Led here by
I'm going through the whole Internet alphabetically
Location
That place with hair
Comments
Dear Mill, You probably don't remember me, being famous and all, but we've talked before. Well, rather, you replied to me and I smiled for days because it's always nice to get a response from someone famous. Anyway, I digress, I just came to say that I am grateful to be on your mailing list. I've been a very depressed individual lately and your Mail came at just the right time. Not only did it manage to make me smile, it made me glad to hear that at least someone has hope in the world. Keep it up. You're epic.
Guest 6,518 signed in on Saturday, December 5th at 8:33pm
Name
Tabitha
Led here by
Magic
Location
Devon
Comments
Love this! Stumbled across it but have known about this page for years but not visited for ages. (Must re-add self to mailing list). Loving the humour and think you guys rock! Fabulous family, terrific sense of humour and obviously love each other to death - an absolute hoot! Thanks for the read, Tabby and Jens (my German boyfriend!!) xxx
Like many, I am greedy for more of your books. Specifically, for new and different ones. I bought IFLSEL from Birmingham Borders and was caught in a scaled down flashforward of the JLS incident the other day. A Paul McKenna display got knocked over and two people had to have a sit down afterwards.
Guest 6,516 signed in on Tuesday, October 20th at 10:50pm
Name
Taylen
Led here by
Coincidence
Location
San Francisco, California
Comments
thanks for your wonderful words...as with many others on this page, i'm sure, i have had many of the same pointless and ridiculous arguments! carry on...
Guest 6,513 signed in on Monday, September 21st at 7:11pm
Name
Margaret Ann
Led here by
Search engine
Location
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Comments
At first I think perhaps you are mayhap a bit harsh (early on - how could you ever think suggesting pants make her look broad in the beam will end well??), and then I think Margret is a tad neurotic, but do you know, once I was a very sensible, kind, logic-based woman, but somewhere around age 45 I started to ... change. I now know exactly why that plant's in the tub, but I can't really explain it to my husband, so instead I'll snap his head off. I think it's something in the tampons, which I do NOT make my husband carry in his pocket. Yet.
Guest 6,511 signed in on Saturday, September 5th at 4:53pm
Name
Charlene Joseph
Led here by
E-mail from friend
Location
Malaysia
Comments
You should have your books sold over here(Malaysia). I just love the way you describe situations. It was very detailed and real at the same time, no doubt, bloody brilliant and humorous. Was a good read!
margret sounds wonderful; i love her! your page kept my attention and kept me laughing from beginning to end. thank you for sharing your sense of humor and providing a fresh and entertaining perspective on relationship arguments. best wishes to the both of you <3
Guest 6,507 signed in on Tuesday, August 25th at 1:51am
Name
sandra
Led here by
Hot tip from a stranger in a bar
Location
Scotland
Comments
I haven't laughed that much in ages (and wasted time meant to be used for studying either). I'm german and living with my scottish partner....the similarities are frightening. I'm now going to buy that book for him as a christmas present, it might help him to understand me just that little bit better.
Guest 6,504 signed in on Thursday, July 23rd at 10:57am
Name
Lisa-jayne
Led here by
Magic
Location
somewhere in time and space....looks a little bit like Hull, but am really hoping it's Monte Carlo.
Comments
It's happened again....i got an email teasing with the delights of yr super newsletter, but the link refused to let me in? I'm beging to feel a little left out here..........
Guest 6,503 signed in on Thursday, July 23rd at 8:42am
Name
shan
Led here by
Barry
Location
australia
Comments
mil, i am terribly disappointed wtih mailing list #49; it was really, really short. :( i have been waiting so long...and am now left unsatisfied. otherwise, all my devoted love.
Guest 6,502 signed in on Tuesday, July 14th at 2:51pm
Name
Kaley Oliver
Led here by
Magic
Location
Stillwater, Ok;lahoma... United States
Comments
I love you... you are so hilarious, but I have a fight to pick with you. I had to buy Instructions for Living Someone Else's Life off of Amazon because it is not being published in the United States, and it is an amazing book. WHY?
Guest 6,501 signed in on Monday, June 29th at 6:04pm
Name
Robert
Led here by
Magic
Location
New york
Comments
How can I keep my wife from throwing things at me to stop me from reading your entries out loud to her? It can't be as simple as "Stop reading them aloud." I keep saying "Ok, just one more." But that's a lie. You see, I am a liar like you.
You are brilliant and hilarious. Thanks for such wonderful writing and such entertaining stories.